“Don’t Look Down, Old Friend” (poem)

Poem dated 10/10/2019 —

Don’t Look Down, Old Friend

by Noah Gallagher

Young boy whom I see in printed ink

Looking so worried, with eyes uncertain

The weight of searching heavy upon you

So lowly and lost as you wander

All-too aware of the longtime folly

You can never seem to be free of

In spite of all your striving.

Don’t look down, old friend

Don’t let it get to you

You’ve got more to you than you think

It’s locked up in there, unseen

I see an innocence in your tired eyes

Thinking you’ve seen and done it all

Like you’re a busted, worn-out wheel.

You just can’t see what lies ahead–

Remarkable prosperity yet unknown

A universe’s worth of novel things

A seat at the house of abiding love.

So you just do your part, young boy

Press on from day to day

Lift up those uncertain eyes

Keep rebuilding when things break

Try to hope you’ll make it through

Because you will, in time, and then you’ll see

This little one that I now see

Captured here in printed ink–

Unworked, naïve, but genuine

–Who fears what lies ahead

You too will gaze and cheer him on

And forgive him for all he did, all he didn’t

You’ll smile a bit in recalling the problems

Once seeming so sheer, all-consuming

They’ll vanish somewhere along your way.

I swear to you; I know you’ll see

Once you come the way I’ve come

You’ll feel something lift your lowly eyes

That you never thought you’d know

That’s worth all the burden

Of those many, many troubled years:

That ashamed, low boy in printed ink

Now stands tall and whole, a man.

I wrote this poem while serving as a missionary (see my “Biography” page). It’s the most personal one I think I’ve written. The words came upon me as I was looking at old photographs–something I don’t do often. But the activity seems to be a powerful one every time I do it.

What this poem does for me is serve as a bridge between two voices: the “me” that is now–the “little kid” who is struggling and stumbling and whose heart is heavy–and the “me” that is to be: the one who’s been through all that and now looks back on it with joy and peace.

Sometimes I wonder when I’ll finally be that man–the one who is whole and can never again be broken. And in my wondering, the waiting seems too much.

So it helps to remember that, for right now, I’m the little one. I’m the one who falls and has to stand back up over and over again. That’s where I am, and it’s alright. Even if it hurts, it’s not forever. It’s only the now.

And someday, in an unknown time, I’ll look back and know that things have changed. I’ll know that everything–every minute that I was living and experiencing and feeling anything at all–was all worthwhile.

And all that once seemed crippling and undefeatable will be nothing but a puff of mist in my rearview.

Ahead lies peace. Fondness. Strength. All pain and fear will one day be a memory.

I can move forward, take a deep and hopeful breath, knowing that.

– Noah Gallagher