SECLURM: Devolution went through quite a number of story revisions before the current version took shape. I thought it might be interesting to give a behind-the-scenes look at the ideas I scrapped originally.
Some spoilers for the book follow.
FREAKY WORMS
Obviously the story is inspired primarily by the Alien movies. It was always intended to be an homage to them and an attempt to tell a similar story without falling into some of the missteps that the franchise eventually fell into. It was also an opportunity to have a similar story with less adult content that could reach a broader audience.
There was always the risk, of course, of being too derivative, and my first ideas were definitely in that camp. “Seclurm” originally was the name of an alien creature that pretty much did what the Xenomorphs in Alien do.
From my original notes about Seclurm:
Seclurms are alien parasites that infiltrate other organisms and slowly take over their bodies, modifying them to suit their purpose. The alien itself is just a small, tendril-like worm, though it controls the entire body of its victim. digitigrade feet.
Seclurms make a sound like wailing, and they move as if they seek to share their pain with others. They don’t see with eyes, nor do they seem to see via scent; they have an uncanny ability to detect warm organisms.
In order to infect its host, a Seclurm generally enters through the foot or whatever body part is closest to the floor. It takes nearly a day for its growth cycle to complete.
Stage One: Hatchling
Seclurm hatches from an egg and begins seeking a Host.
Stage Two: Entrance to Host
In its tiny, worm-like state, the Seclurm burrows through a point of flesh to enter its Host, ideally when the Host is sleeping and will not realize what is happening.
Stage Three: Growth Within Host
Host becomes hungry, compelled by the Seclurm’s mental commanding to feed it.
Stage Four: Host Death
Host dies, and a cocoon stage lasting anywhere from ten minutes to an hour begins.
Stage Five: Burst From Cocoon
The Seclurm has stolen and re-purposed all the Host’s organs, bones, and flesh, creating its finalized Seclurm body, which violently bursts from the cocoon.
I dropped these ideas for two reasons. First, it was getting a bit too gross for my tastes. I didn’t really want to write body horror about worm-like creatures invading people’s bodies. But more pressingly, I wanted to move away from the Alien-derivative angle as much as possible. So the idea of Seclurm being a liquid, mutative substance was developed in its place, which, while still arguably somewhat derivative (ever seen Prometheus?), was at least somewhat more original than a literal parasite.
PRISONERS
For a long time, in an attempt to have a more original setting, the story was set upon a rehab spaceship called the Reformer. People would willingly sign up to have their memory removed and “reset” their lives aboard this ship. (Oh, and I guess the company that would become FAER was called “InteliTech” at that point. Definitely a placeholder, that…)
This got cut just because of how contrived the idea seemed to feel. You’re always taking a risky gambit having main characters with total memory loss in your story, and to have every character be like that seemed silly. (No offense intended to The Maze Runner!) Plus, I wanted the story to be set in space, and why would a rehab center need to be in space? I eventually determined that astronauts setting foot on an unexplored minor planet just felt the most natural for what I wanted the story and conflict to develop into. Maybe the Reformer idea (and its plot twist, described below) could work in some other story, but I don’t think it would have here.
From my notes:
The Reformer is a self-sufficient space-vacation vessel created with InteliTech technology.
Its passengers believe that they have had their memories wiped and are upon the Reformer because they chose to have a “reset” on their lives after poor circumstances or choices ruined them, and due to the influence of SNTNL, are being reformed into well-adjusted people once again, allowing them a second chance free of memory of evil deeds done, free of addictions, and free of all bad desires. The period of reformation is supposed to last a month before they then go into sleep pods for the return journey to Earth. However, each time they enter the pods, their memory of the last month is entirely wiped, and they wake up thinking they are living their first moments upon the Reformer. The cycle has so far repeated itself roughly 72 times.
SNTNL controls the Reformer and is in on the scheme, but early on in the novel is infiltrated and taken over by a Seclurm that somehow made its way onto the Reformer.
END OF THE WORLD
Another idea in tandem with the Reformer was to turn the “discovery of new alien lifeform” on its head by revealing partway through the book that Earth had already been infected by Seclurm and become completely decimated, prompting the main characters to intentionally remove their memory of the disaster to preserve their sanity. I still think that would have been a cool twist, but when the Reformer idea got axed I decided to follow a somewhat more conventional setup as it seemed to serve the story the best.
This was the timeline that would have eventually become clear at some point during the story:
2079: Discovery by space-faring scientists of the organism “HVK9032”, quickly named “Seclurm”. Studying it aboard the station, they underestimate its parasitic capabilities, and none of the scientists survive. The last living scientist managed to escape the station, headed for Earth, but was killed by a stowaway Seclurm. The resulting crash landing infected the Earth with Seclurms, plunging it into a slow, apocalyptic war.
2088: Humans are losing the Seclurm War. Most nations’ governments have fallen.
2090: The station that will become the Reformer is re-purposed for the escape plan of the twenty InteliTech employees. Knowing that Earth is a lost cause, they head out onto the Reformer, where they plan to remain undisturbed and, with the periodic help of memory-removal technology, blissfully unaware of the horrors that they witnessed upon Earth and their knowledge of its fate, always believing that they will return to Earth shortly.
2096: Novel start.
DIFFERENT CAST
Since the Reformer wasn’t operated by a crew, none of the crewmates were crewmates at all. Only some aspects of their thinly-woven personalities carried over to final versions. The original main character’s name was Lea, although that’s about as far as things got–I never got far enough to develop any of them very much.
The only “character” who survived the story revisions intact, you’ll notice, is SNTNL, although plans for it were originally quite different as it was supposed to be in on the conspiracy and also taken over at some point by the alien…somehow. (I don’t think I ever found a believable way to implement that latter idea.) If you’ve read the final book you know that that idea made its way into the story in a less malevolent and probably more surprising form.
I only got as far as chapter three before fizzling out with this original plot setup and eventually starting over with Seclurm as we know it today.
Here are some selections from the original Chapter 1, when Lea wakes up from a cryo-pod. I don’t promise it is well written, because I’m sure it isn’t, but here it is for those who are curious enough:
In the light she could see that her body was entirely covered in a gray powder, choking her pores and making her itch. Whatever the stuff was, she knew it wasn’t dust, or she would have already been sneezing up a storm. She remembered many such sneezing fits.
But…strangely, she found she didn’t recall much else.
The metal shell she sat upon—the top of which having retracted and left it looking more like a very small bed—was in the corner of the room, which was clearly meant for one person but still looked fairly roomy. . . . The room was all carpeted and fresh and clean, as if it had scarcely been set foot in before. A dresser lay against the wall, a television screen suspended above it, with a comfy-looking couch and coffee table in the center of the room facing it. In another corner was a third entryway with an open door allowing Lea to see that through it lie the bathroom.
It all gave Lea the distinct impression of a posh hotel room. But why was she here alone? Where was Martin? Why didn’t she remember coming here still? And why had she awakened in some strange pod, naked and covered in gray powder?
With too many questions swirling in her mind, she stood up and exited the pod, expecting the powder to fall off of her body and make a mess of the floor. To her surprise, it clung to her like glue. In perfect synchronization to her touching her feet to the carpet, the TV suddenly sprang to life, halting her racing thoughts.
A Hispanic woman with hazel eyes appeared on the screen, close to the camera and facing it directly, her hands resting on a table that the camera was clearly sitting upon. She wore a dark coat and had her dark hair done in a ponytail.
Lea realized quickly that the woman was herself, though she had zero recollection of ever having been recorded in such a video, despite it looking extremely recent.
“Good morning, Lea,” the Lea on the screen said. “You’re probably wondering where you are and what’s going on. I’m not going to explain everything to you now, but I need you to know two things. First, your memory has been wiped. You didn’t hit your head and you weren’t kidnapped by anybody; you underwent the memory-removal voluntarily and have just woken up from it. You won’t remember having gone to the place you are now, or why you are there, or even having recorded this video.”
. . .
“Second,” video Lea continued, “that once you step outside your room, you will be guided by a NanoMind—an AI. His name is SNTNL”—she pronounced it exactly like ‘sentinel’—“and he was created to help you and the others. You must do everything he tells you to. I know this must feel scary and strange, but you’ll find you have nothing to worry about very shortly. Take a shower, get dressed, and then head outside to hear everything else you need to know from SNTNL.”
Video Lea gave a slight smile, and the video cut out without another word.
Lea stood there for a few moments, dumbfounded. That was it? A short video, allegedly from herself, telling her to obey a “NanoMind” named SNTNL? That wasn’t an explanation. It did not placate her fears; it merely stalled them.
Feeling cold, however, and with the strange powder still covering her body, she stepped into the bathroom to shower. The bathroom was even more immaculate-looking than the bedroom, and it gave her a feeling of prosperity, like she was on vacation, living the high life. A large mirror covered one wall, allowing her to see herself as she looked now.
Covered in gray powder, her skin looked marbled with gray and brown. She was more shocked to see that her hair had been cut extremely short, now barely reaching past her ears. It too was covered with the gray powder, though there it looked more clay-like.
She looked over her shoulder to find the shower, and decided to go ahead and do as she had been told. A rebellious spirit had been building up in her, but not one that would ever dissuade her from obeying an order to get clean in the state she was. After a blissful shower, she exited with the powder completely gone, as she had hoped.
. . .
She entered the main room. It was expansive, with three other halls leading elsewhere. Three men and two women stood or sat in the middle of the place where two leathered couches lay. A coffee table had a plate of fruit upon it. So far, from what Lea could see, no one had partaken of it.
“Okay, we’re all here,” said one of the men sitting on the couch, “can you tell us what the hell is going on now?”
The man had a short head of brown hair, thin eyebrows, a round face, tan skin, and a few yellowish teeth. He was a larger fellow, with simple jeans and a striped, button-up red shirt. He seemed fond of squinting and had an otherwise calm expression.
The others remained quiet, but they looked equally impatient. Lea moved to the edge of the partial square formed by the couches, unsure what exactly was going on. One of the other men sat quietly, eyes shifting from person to person. He was tall, with dark skin, striking blue eyes, and buzz-cut hair, resting his chin on his cupped hands. . . . The last man was standing, fidgeting a bit, looking nervous. He had a bald spot on the top of his head, thick glasses enlarging his own hazel eyes, largish lips, pale skin, and was of medium height and build. He wore shorts and a dark red jacket.
The two other women were near the other couch, one sitting, one standing and resting her arms on the opposite armrest. The standing one had a long, symmetrical face with soft features, fair skin, green eyes, and a buzz-cut head of hair. She wore a casual blue sweater and jeans. She looked perhaps the most eager to hear what was going on, yet she remained level-headed. The other woman sat with a look of disbelief on her face, her doe-like blue eyes popping. She looked younger than the others, had slightly tan skin, and wore leggings and a stylish short-sleeve shirt.
Before Lea could say a word to any of them, a voice came on.
“Welcome, visitors, to the Reformer,” said the voice. It was the same one that had beckoned Lea onward moments before: highly computerized and androgynous. “I am SNTNL, your NanoMind guide. The videos you watched earlier mentioned me.
“The Reformer is, as its name optimistically suggests, a place of change. It offers a second chance for everyone, no matter how broken, or how stricken, or how uncertain. Each of you sought that second chance, and that is why you are here today. Prior to waking up minutes ago, your lives had, for one reason or another, taken a turn for the worse. You exhausted all other options and found that your life needed a hard reset—the hardest of resets.”
Everyone was silent and motionless, listening intently to the clearly important words SNTNL said to them from some unseen speaker that echoed through the room and chilled them to their cores.
“Whether it was a previous life of crime, a serious addiction, or some other debilitating problem, each one of you chose to have your memories of whatever woes that prompted your desire for a second chance wiped completely from your memories. You chose to come to the Reformer to be reformed by beginning a new life free from any of your old concerns. Here, by living together in harmony for a brief time, you will become new people, eager to return to Earth and continue your new lives untroubled by the dark clouds that once took over.
“It may be a difficult thing to believe at first, that you’re here of your own volition. But—”
“Are we allowed to leave?” the large man interrupted.
“I will answer your questions in a moment, Mick,” SNTNL continued. “It may be difficult to believe that you are here for a second chance, but search your feelings and you will find what the memory removal process left behind: a sincere desire for change. Recognize this within yourself and you will know that I speak the truth.
“If you believe what I’ve just told you, step forward and enter Hallway A, where a feast awaits you. There I will answer your questions and proceed to help you get situated in this comfortable station. I look forward to our time together.”
His voice faded to silence, and the door to the hallway, labeled Hallway A, opened before them.
In the short silence that followed, Lea tried to think of what she could remember. She had just been told that she had done something so wrong or experienced something so damaging that she had willingly chosen to reset her life. Last she remembered, she was married to a man she loved and seeking a job in marketing. The thought that something had gone terribly wrong—something she could no longer recall—terrified her. Did she go off the deep end and begin an addiction to some dangerous drugs? Unlikely, considering she hadn’t even thought about doing that sort of thing since high school. She couldn’t think of anything else.
Except…
Horror filled her thoughts, and she breathed deeply as she realized what must have happened.
Martin had died.
What else could it have been? Without her husband, she would be broken. He had given her a new purpose to her life. Him no longer being there was the only way she could fathom her life needing a reset.
She looked to the others, who seemed to be deeply contemplating similar things. What had they done wrong? Could they feel this “desire to change” that SNTNL claimed they would?
Lea looked inside herself. Would she feel that desire?
Without a word, the tall, quiet, black man suddenly stood up and walked toward Hallway A.
“You’re going?” said Mick, incredulous.
He turned back, just a tinge of sheepishness on his face. After a moment he said, “I’m hungry,” and turned to walk again.
Mick laughed softly at thought. “Damned if he’s not right. I’m hungry too. Too hungry to think.”
He stood up and started walking as well, eying the women as he did. While not terribly attractive, Lea could see he carried himself with a sense of confidence, almost a fearlessness.
The remaining man, with his bald spot and glasses, anxiously scratched at his head for another few moments. Then he sighed and started walking forward too.
“What do you think?” the younger woman said to the buzz-cut one.
“I think we had better go eat.” She started walking to the hall.
“Me too. You coming, lady?” she said, turning to Lea.
Lea looked at her. “I…I guess so.”
With that, each one of them was walking through Hallway A.
. . .
“How much of our lives has been removed from our memories, SNTNL?” Jack suddenly said, looking concerned. “What’s the current date? Last I remember, it was…it was…”
“That information is in your contract. It is also different for every applicant. As for the current date: it is January twelfth of 2079. You will return to Earth on February twelfth.”
Everyone thought on that for a minute. Lea guessed that, like herself, they could not remember the exact year it was before they came to the Reformer. Somehow her memory was too foggy to recall with any certainty even that small detail. Seventy-nine sounded vaguely right, though, she soon decided.
“So…can we contact our families?” asked Jenny.
“As per the contract, you will be able to contact family members twice per week. It is what you agreed to as part of the ‘New Beginning’ protocol. Constant discourse with people you knew before could lead to reversal.”
So, what do you think? Was it a good idea to ditch all those concepts, or does this sound like a far more interesting novel than what we actually got? In some small ways, I feel that. Hopefully I made the right call that fostered the strongest story possible. And I like to remember that these ideas can, of course, be repurposed for future books if that proves to be the right decision.
arcreonis.com 
That sounds interesting too. It could even be a short story or novella.
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